DoaD #14 - The Sun’s Day
I almost forgot about you, about this, about Diary of a Daoist.
This is Episode 14, on a no longer sunny Sunday. It was a cool day. Chill. It was encased in itself, I didn't have any thoughts or worries about the week to come.
Slowly got up.
Had this urge to to make a book, I have had this recently where I need to make a book, or a little zine. I’ve been getting more comfortable with posting the things that I do on my own, that I'm doing naturally. Finding a way to show the process of how I make things and my way of observing the world and sharing my skills of observation. So fun, very simple. Making a book that I’ve made before, my little poetry zine, and finessing the craft. Weirdly, filming myself made me focus and lock in on the task even more. Normally, my mind wanders a little bit too much when I come with a plan and then the fire in me finds something else to get excited by. I found myself doing that after I stopped filming, I was reading through books which was fun but got a bit lost in them and felt that energy calling me back home.
The manic worker wanted to stay there but I still went back home and edited that video. I don't know Sundays are weird for me. Because my whole life Sunday has been this day of rest. Even though it's the sun's day and the sun is all about fire and energy and radiance and outward goings, surely doesn't feel like rest. Surely it’s more like a Monday (moon day) a more receptive reflective day is a day of rest. I always feel guilty if this creative force in me wants to do stuff on a Sunday. Still figuring out if it feels right or not, but I still took it very chill today allowing myself to not feel guilty for wanting to stay in and go down my little study rabbit holes, do a little bit of scripture study and watch some interesting lectures from the 90s and allow myself to get lost in the student. I know myself so much now that the Euros, this whole culture of this country, cannot have any pull on me in any way. I know myself too well. I've been through too many of those cycles of not wanting to be left out and going out, then that fire in me disappears to some numb and dull feeling, sitting at a table watching the screens with the same thing happening. Mid conversations. An excuse to get out and drink. I've no use for that anymore. I got my social and my community elsewhere. So I'm not searching for it in that anymore. I know myself too much to allow myself to get pulled into that. It’s fun from time to time, but NAh. I feel like it’s for people who don't know what else they're meant to do with their life. If you partially enjoy it, it makes no sense to me. But hey ho, these are just my thoughts.
I guess they’re thoughts that aren’t heard well in this country because it’s ruled by football. I evaded that as a kid and I chose other ways of moving.
Was such a nice day, just chilled. I'm spending a little bit more time on my phone than I would like but that's because I'm finding the balance. Coming back onto online platforms and using my phone more than where I was a year ago, which was zero and wanting to throw my phone in a river and go live in the woods. I’m finding a balance.
It's not much else than that. Just a good day. First Aid training tomorrow, which will be cool. So I ain’t quite got a day of rest tomorrow. Getting up at seven which I should probably get ready for soon, then straight to work afterwards. Get back at Ten. But it's gonna be a day for purpose. So how could I be tired? When that fills me with energy. We'll see. I'll probably be fuckin spent, I’m already feeling it so,
peace.
Good night.
